Collars of Power

In this post, I explore the topic of awesome collars.

Exhibit A: The Popped Collar

Yes, people have been popping their collars since the 19th century. I feel that the popped collar was awesome back then, but that it went out of style when the 20th century hit. As a result, anyone currently wearing a popped collar is sporting a trend that has officially been played out for over a century.

Exhibit B: The Neck Fortress

Note the iron-clad protection offered by this solemn collar. The wearer may not be able to look down, but then again does he really have to? Surely, no attack could prevail against the impregnable walls of the neck fortress.

Exhibit C: The Ruffle Collar

This is a curious collar that defies all reason and common sense. It is a billowing and whimsical phenomenon that seemingly fell to earth from some flamboyant parallel universe. Why wear this collar if not to simulate the magical sensation of your head moving gracefully above the clouds? Some have noted the effeminate nature of the ruffle collar, suggesting that it may look more appropriate on a woman. With that in mind, I submit to you a picture of a woman wearing a ruffle collar:


I have to admit, this doesn’t make any more sense.

Exhibit D: WTF

A china doll became a chemist, synthesized some LSD in the lab, took it, went to Wonderland and purchased a coat from the Mad Hatter? Just my best guess here.