Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Ginger Festival!

Apparently these people got together for something called "Redhead Day". This sounded kind of strange to me until I found out that the event is held in Holland, which makes the whole thing completely understandable. By the way, the event was started by a blond guy.

A group of gingers

While this is all fine and well, I just think the whole "ginger" thing is kind of bizarre. At the end of the day, all we're talking about is people with red hair. I really don't see what the big deal is.

"a family in Newcastle claimed they were driven from their home because of anti-ginger abuse in 2007"

Whoa, hold on now. Are you serious?

"After an anti-ginger South Park episode, Kick a Ginger Day started in Canada and someone was seriously hurt."

This is hilarious and depressing at the same time.

"Do people with red hair really want to seek out the company of those with similar colouring?

This exclusive community is already functioning and making money for Brigitte van Hengel. She runs a ginger modelling agency and is looking to add a ginger-only theatre company ... Alan Petrie has travelled from Aberdeen to research the possibility of starting a ginger community in Scotland."

So if I understand this correctly, gingers are a quasi-ethnic, persecuted minority yet at the same time they want to form a "genetically pure" segregated community? These people are like the Nazis and the Jews all rolled into one! Can this get any crazier?

"Ironically, claims of racial discrimination were also invoked when Mr Rouwenhorst investigated the possibility of getting his festival noted in the Guinness World Records. Redheads, he was told, were considered a minority by its editors, who will not record events based on racial characteristics."

I have no idea what's going on.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Hamster-like Humans Investigate Disappearance of Hamster-like Pika

The pika, a “hamster-like” rodent, is disappearing. To find out why, a team of hamster-like humans investigates. At one point, Natural Geographic Grantee Rob Guralnick refers to the pika as an “alpine denizen”. This has no significance to the larger story, however it’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone use the term “alpine denizen”. (Note: As if this wasn’t enough, Guralnick later uses the phrase “great, charismatic, wonderful taxon”.)

First, the team admires some pika crap. Then, they essentially go into a pika’s cupboard and trash the place. Finally, the team goes back to the lab and surfs around on Google Earth to kill some time.

At the end of the study, it’s determined that global warming is killing the pika. Apparently (I’m paraphrasing here) pikas have an insanely overclocked metabolism that protects them from cold weather. When the weather is warmer than expected, their supercharged internal VTEC explodes and they go out in a blaze of glory. Hopefully, the pika will survive and the majestic call of the pika will be heard for generations to come.

Friday, September 4, 2009

A Message of Hope for Hard Economic Times

May this comfort you in your time of trouble.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Eight of the Most Dangerous Places to Live

To all those with a death wish, you're welcome. Places not mentioned in this list include:

- Flamboyant Homosexual Estates in Tehran
- Mess With Texas Village Apartments in Dallas
- Cheerful Optimist Townhomes in Siberia
- The Moon

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Trent Reznor and the Monkey from the Closer Video Star in a New Film

...and it looks like the new project is more family friendly. Here's an image from the official website:

I'm not sure what the connection is between the two projects other than the fact that they both involve meat. In case anyone hasn't seen the original music video, here it is (WARNING: explicit content).

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Missing Link Between Star Trek and Lord of the Rings

You're welcome, nerds. Apparently Spock was smoking some crazy stuff on the Enterprise. In fact, when the ship landed on a new planet, he would often wonder off and shoot a music video. This one is pretty special. If you have any doubts, I have two words for you: tuba solo.