Monday, December 21, 2009

I Don't Understand the Words That are Coming Out of Your Mouth

The following is an excerpt from The Invisible Landscape: Mind, Hallucinogens and The I Ching by Terence and Dennis McKenna:

To check our theories, we devised an experiment that was planned to trigger an intercalation of harmine into the genetic material that would sustain and stabilize its charge-transfer energy within a superconducting matrix. We reasoned that an infusion of ayahuasca plus tryptamine (mushroom) admixtures would allow us to do the following: (1) We would hear and vocally imitate the ESR modulation of the tryptamines as they intercalated with their RNA receptors. (2) The amplified tryptamine-RNA ESR would be a harmonic overtone of the harmine-DNA resonation frequency, and the vocal modulation of these frequencies would cancel the two waveforms, causing both complexes to simultaneously lose their electrical resistance and assume superconducting configuration. (3) The superconductive bond with the DNA, would then begin to broadcast its waveform hologramatic ESR configuration through the superconducting harmine-transducing circuit. This superconductively sustained and amplified resonation of the harmine-DNA macromolecule would excite the tryptamine-RNA complex into a sympathetic resonance frequency, causing it to act as a radio transmitter, which would broadcast the coded information of the harmine-DNA superconducting sustainer circuit.

Dear Terence and Dennis McKenna,



P.S. My brain hurts...

... and I haven’t even started reading the part about human novelty ending in 2012. Or is that the point of infinite novelty? In any case, the I Ching is involved.

"My name is Terence McKenna and my goal is to make your head explode."

This book makes me want to read something by Dr. Seuss. Seriously, if someone wrote a book using lorem ipsum, intermittently inserted the words “shaman”, “DNA”, and “hologram” and provided accompanying illustrations of the molecular structures of various psychedelics, I would be unable to discern a difference between that book and The Invisible Landscape.

Still, where else are you going to find this stuff? Forget sublimely awesome, this book is infuriatingly, bizarrely, ludicrously, mind-numbingly, sublimely awesome. With that in mind, I would like to congratulate Terence and Dennis McKenna on thinking so far outside the box they make Patrick Bateman seem like a reasonable guy.*

*This sentence was included solely to reference American Psycho.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Collars of Power

In this post, I explore the topic of awesome collars.

Exhibit A: The Popped Collar

Yes, people have been popping their collars since the 19th century. I feel that the popped collar was awesome back then, but that it went out of style when the 20th century hit. As a result, anyone currently wearing a popped collar is sporting a trend that has officially been played out for over a century.

Exhibit B: The Neck Fortress
Note the iron-clad protection offered by this solemn collar. The wearer may not be able to look down, but then again does he really have to? Surely, no attack could prevail against the impregnable walls of the neck fortress.

Exhibit C: The Ruffle Collar

This is a curious collar that defies all reason and common sense. It is a billowing and whimsical phenomenon that seemingly fell to earth from some flamboyant parallel universe. Why wear this collar if not to simulate the magical sensation of your head moving gracefully above the clouds? Some have noted the effeminate nature of the ruffle collar, suggesting that it may look more appropriate on a woman. With that in mind, I submit to you a picture of a woman wearing a ruffle collar:

I have to admit, this doesn’t make any more sense.

Exhibit D: WTF

A china doll became a chemist, synthesized some LSD in the lab, took it, went to Wonderland and purchased a coat from the Mad Hatter? Just my best guess here.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

How to Question the Value of Human Life

It happened the other day as I was browsing in Barnes & Noble. I looked to the left and encountered the following image:

First of all, you will realize that the book had to be faced out in order for this event to occur. I sincerely hope that the employee who made the decision to display the book in this way did so ironically.

It took me a moment to register the meaning and significance of the image before me. It could certainly be interpreted in several ways. People with a religious belief might interpret it as a sign of the end times. Ironically, it could also be regarded as the definitive rebuttal to theism. In any case, it left me with a sinking feeling that would not go away easily.

This image seemed to be mocking the the idea of human value. It was as if the book, simply by existing, challenged the concepts of progress, meaning and purpose. "I exist" it seemed to say, "What have you to say about your world now?"

I admit, it was a potent challenge. My initial reaction was one of bewilderment and resignation. I was almost prepared to concede the point and admit that there was no inherent meaning in the universe and that life was just a bizarre, pointless aberration.

But then something happened. Something deep inside of me rose up and entered the fray. Call it the divine spark, the human spirit, the essence of my being. Whatever you want to call it, it came to life with a response even more singular and powerful than the monolithic challenge issued by the book: "No."

It was a response that transcended all intellectual and emotional appeals. It was the will to live, that inexplicable, undeniable fire that burns deep within the heart of all beings. It was that voice that came to my rescue when all other defenses had been shattered. "No" it said, "I am, I assert my right to be, and no argument can stand against the ineffable mystery of manifest life."

I left Barnes & Noble in a state of peaceful contemplation. I had gained a renewed understanding of the dignity of human life. I realized that there is something inherent in life itself that gives it value and nothing we do can ever diminish that value in the slightest degree.